long time no write..

So I just realized that's it's been a good two years since I last wrote a blog post, far too long in my book. A lot has changed since that long.. rather depressing post. I no longer go to school, I am, for the moment, a college dropout. I'm no longer living in Syracuse with my parents, rather, I'm living with my good friend Max and working at Chic-Fil-A. As far as relationships go I didn't stay single as I had originally intended, but have had a few relationships, and a couple more, *ahem*, trysts. I've done a great many things I'm not proud of; which brings to mind the question, what am I proud of?
I'm proud that I'm no longer living in Syracuse, I'm starting to make it out here in the great state of Ohio. I'm proud of how I've come spiritually, and emotionally. I'm a lot more stable than I once was, I no longer have any fear of being alone. On the contrary, it's exactly what I want, and what I need right now. I've found that when I'm in a relationship I become... distracted. Distracted from all the things I need to accomplish for the sake of my survival. I spend way too much time, and way too much money on a significant other so it's best I have nobody. I'm content, I'm satisfied when it comes to this.
I'm also proud of another thing, something that is perhaps strange to be proud of.. I'm proud that I'm not content, not satisfied with where I am. Where I am in my life is good, it's better than what it was; but if I stagnate, if I stop moving upward it will no longer be okay. I want a real life, not necessarily a five year plan or a piece of land in my name.. But a life that I can look back on one day and be happy with.
I'm looking forward to the future, but not so much that I take my eyes away from what is required to make it happen.
So in conclusion.. life is good, life is very good - but I hope, no, plan to make it better.

also, in keeping with tradition I suppose I should post a song at the end of this post - this is "Take Me Out" by Atomic Tom and I'm absolutely obsessed with it right now